The Inglorious Events of Getting Drunk
by Allons-y Lovelies
Summary: "We just got madly drunk-" / "'Just?" / "And somehow lost our trousers during the course of the evening-" / "Our birthday parties do get pretty wild." Lily Evans gets very drunk, and wakes up in someone else's bed... Rated for a couple of potty mouths. ONESHOT Written for The Secret Challenge by Lil'MissChris.


_Disclaimer- I don't own HP!_

**The Inglorious Events of Getting Drunk**

Lily Evans woke up with a pounding headache, a dry mouth, a spike of pain coming from her hip, and an arm wrapped around her middle. The arm, she deduced, belonged to a male, as his snores were currently ringing through her head. The arm was lightly tanned and sprinkled with dark hairs. It was actually quite a nice arm, she thought. Not too muscly, but not too thin either. The Bloke (hereafter referred to as such) pulled her closer, so that they were spooning. Lily held back a groan as the snores got even louder, echoing through her head like gunshots.

She was in a male dormitory, _that_ she could tell. There weren't any other people in the beds set up around the room, as the curtains were all open, and the covers were drawn back. Lily pushed at the arm, but that only made him pull her even closer to him, making her roll her eyes. Before, she hadn't wanted to wake him up, but now, she could feel her stomach twisting, as if she was about to heave up her meagre dinner. She lurched up, nearly tripping over the tangled sheets, and staggered into the bathroom just in time for her last meal to make a disgusting reappearance. The sounds of her throwing up must've woken The Bloke, as she could hear him moving around in the bed. He mumbled something, and then called hoarsely, "Who the fuck's in my loo?"

She groaned at the noise, as the pounding in her head reached a crescendo. She rinsed and spat into the sink, and then stumbled back into the dorm.

"Ah, shit. Where the bloody hell did you come from, Evans?" Sirius Black rubbed sleep from his eyes, and Lily wanted to run back into the bathroom. Out of all people, it just had to be Black. "And where are your _trousers_?" Sirius clutched his head, as if he was having immense trouble trying to make sense of this all.

"I could ask you the same question, Black," she grumbled in return, after having to clear her throat multiple times, and then collapsed back into his bed. She could nap for a few more hours.

"No. Evans, you can't _stay _here! If James catches you in bed with me, _trouser less_, then he'll bloody murder me." Sirius' words were muffled by the pillow he'd buried his head into. They weren't very enthusiastic, anyway.

"Black," Lily said forcefully, "I have got a _wicked _hangover. I am not in the mood. I am going to sleep here, and you are going to _let me_."

Sirius groaned. "I can't be bothered to get up and push you out." He gave her a half-hearted shove which barely moved her anywhere.

"Stop trying. I'm not going anywhere."

"Fine! Nap for half an hour, then _leave_." He inhaled sharply as his head gave a particularly raw throb. "I don't want James seeing _this_." He gestured between the two of them. "He'll get the wrong idea, and then I'll be blamed."

"What is _this_?" Lily copied his hand gesture. "Nothing, that's what. We just got madly drunk-"

"'Just'?"

"And somehow lost our trousers during the course of the evening-"

"Our birthday parties _do _get pretty wild."

"It's all fine. Really, what could James possibly gather from this?"

"That we bloody slept together!"

Lily paused, and then thumped her head against the pillow (which she then decided was a very bad idea when a spear of pain stabbed into her skull multiple times). "Stop it with your logic, Black, it's too early in the morning." She stopped for a moment before saying, "Why aren't you in the bathroom, curled around the toilet like I was?"

"Water, Evans. Lots and lots of water. And I also didn't mix my drinks."

"What?"

"Do you even remember what happened last night?" he asked, closing his eyes and pulling the covers onto him and away from her.

"Nope. All I remember is someone dancing on a table. I think it was Remus?" Sirius shrugged, as he could barely remember his own name last night. "Anyway, that, and also apparating away from Hogwarts. I think we went to Hogsmeade, and then apparated to Muggle London. You can't apparate inside of Hogwarts," she explained at his confused expression. "So it's the smart thing to go to Hogsmeade first. It's a wonder we didn't splinch ourselves."

"It's a wonder we weren't seen doing magic," he said grimly.

Her hip was aching again, and so she rubbed at it, wondering if she had, in fact, splinched herself. It flared agonisingly, and she snatched her hand away. She then carefully lifted up the bottom of her T-shirt to take a look. Her hip was bandaged lightly, and her eyes widened with panic as she poked at it. What the hell had she done last night? She stood up, jostling Sirius, and quickly unravelled the bandage, tossing it back onto the bed. She gasped, and then swore at what she saw, dropping her T-shirt back down.

"Shit shit shit shit shit- Damn you, Sirius Black!" she said, jumping about as she tried pulling on a pair of Sirius' jeans, as she definitely could not find the skirt that she began the night with. As hung over as she was, her balance wasn't stellar, and so it wasn't surprising when she fell backwards onto the floor with a muffled _thump_.

"What's happened now?" Sirius sighed.

"_You_, that's what's bloody happened," she said, annoyance colouring her words.

"Are those my trousers? I could've sworn that I threw them out the window. Odd stuff," he said.

"Yes, they are. Mine are gone, and I can't exactly walk out of here half naked."

"Why not? Nobody's out there, and if they are, they're probably passed out."

"Three words, Black. Walk of Shame."

"You know, I seem to remember a round of strip poker with McKinnon, Prewett and Longbottom," he mused, deciding that a change of subject was in order. "I also seem to remember getting a nice eyeful of McKinnon's assets."

"Charming." Lily dashed into the bathroom again, nearly tripping over the too long jeans, and took a long drink from the tap, wetting her parched throat, before rushing out of the room without saying goodbye.

"Well, fuck you too then," Sirius said to her retreating back.

"You wish!" she called back.

**TIEOGD**

It was beginning to get a bit heated between James Potter and Lily Evans, a few days after that drunken night on Sirius' birthday.

"Let's get rid of this, yeah?" James said, before pulling her shirt up and over her head. Lily's eyes widened as she remembered what exactly was on her hip. James hadn't noticed anything yet, but then he started leaving a trail of kisses down her stomach.

"Erm, James-" And she had been hoping to keep it a secret for a while longer.

"What the bloody hell is this?" James asked, eyebrows raised. The moment was effectively ruined. She blamed Sirius.

"Your birthday parties get really, _really_ wild?" she offered hopefully.

Tattooed on her hip in a cursive, black font was one word.

_Sirius_

"I'm going to fucking murder him."

**Hello everybody! Written for The Secret Challenge by Lil'MissChris, with the secret: Your character has a secret tattoo. Yay, I'm back with the Marauder Era. I really missed writing these guys…**

**Hope you liked it! Also, please tell me if any info is inaccurate, 'cause I have no idea what it feels like to get a tattoo, and I have no idea what it's like to get drunk. All of that comes from my good friend, Google.**

**Love,**

**Silvs**


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